Julia's 1st School Field Trip

Well, Mama's Big Girl got to go on her 1st school field trip and I got to go!! We went to Oma's Pumpkin Patch and Dairy Farm in Lakeside. It was a day of firsts. First field trip and first ride on a school bus. The look on Julia's face as she was about to get on the bus was just priceless, we sat together and she was holding tight on to my arm and told me she was "so happy that I was with her". It was honestly the sweetest ride to Lakeside I have ever taken.

Well we got to the patch and were getting off the bus only for me to realize that there were WAY too many bees flying around. Being allergic to bees and seeing them EVERYWHERE made my anxiety really bad. I was supposed to be a chaperone on the trip but during lunch I couldn't even be around where the kids were eating at all there were just way too many bees. Luckily there were 3 other Parents on the trip so they could handle it. I didn't get stung and actually nobody did, which was pretty darn amazing because they were everywhere. We got to go on a hay ride though the Dairy farm and that was pretty cool. We almost had an unexpected nature lesson when two cows tried to be "friends".

Julia had so much fun and being with my Big girl made it the best day ever! I am so lucky!! I love my Family!

So much on my mind right now. I feel if I write it out I can move past. This morning started out normal enough until I asked Julia to brush her teeth for school that was going to start shortly. You would have thought I asked her to to do the worst thing in the world. It ended up with lots of screaming and crying for Daddy (Daddy gives in...Mommy doesn't) and me feeling like an out of control lost Mom. What do I do that sets her off so bad and vice versa?!?! She and I have run ins a lot and I am not happy about it. It is not how I pictured being a Mom. Most days are good, some even great but others...OMG it makes me just want to quit. This is a job that for the most part I love but some days want to run out the door. She is so smart and I expect more out of her. I really honestly believe she knows what is right and chooses the other. So, We finally made it out the door to find a nosy neighbor lady in the alley asking Luke if everything was ok?? Are you kidding me? Have you never heard a 4 yr old scream for her way. It really pissed me off that she seems to think there is something going on to be concerned about. Mind your own business lady. Luke and I need to be a united force when it comes to discipline she is walking all over us. I'm over it! And to think that I am driving to Utah in the morning with the kids makes me even more stressed. There is so much going on. I don't even drink but I am thinking I might take it up.

I am so upset with myself tonight. I let my anxiety get the best of me again today and of course it was at the worst place possible. I thought it was resolved. It's been SO long since this happened to me. I can't believe I feel like this again. I thought that part was gone and all to often in the last couple of months it keeps showing up in the most unforgettable, and embarrassing ways. That pounding in my chest and weightlessness in my stomach feeling. That they are all looking at me kind of feeling. The, I just want to escape feeling...the thoughts of is it obvious to everyone feeling? I'm really trying to take a deep breath and move forward from today but I can't help worry if it's back to stay? God, I hope not!

Christmas 2010

This Christmas we ended up for the very 1st time celebrating at home with just our Family. For many reasons that I wont get in to but I have to say it was really nice to just worry about us. Santa showed up in the morning and the girls were SO surprised! We loved spending the morning as a Family and just watching the girls was the best gift ever! Both girls got vacuums and strollers. I have to say those were the gifts they loved the best at the time anyway. They love to help me vacuum. It is really cute! We...I mean "Santa" also later on in the morning surprised them with a wagon. We took them on a walk to the park to try it out but they both didn't last long in riding in it. It now is collecting dust =( I had hoped they would really dig it and I could pull at least Darby in it but since she is a big girl now. She loves to walk. Oh well, I am sure we will get some good use out of it in the Summer for beach trips. Christmas night I cooked dinner. A great day with our Family =)

Julia writing her letter to Santa before bed

This is my Christmas present...a new digital camcorder!! I LOVE IT!!! Thanks Babe!

Trying to catch up...

Oh my where do I start? It has been WAY too many months since I posted! Darby is now 18 months and Julia just yesterday, turned 4 1/2!! I suppose I will start with August when the girls had their birthdays. We celebrated Darby's 1st Birthday at home and had cake and ice cream. She with help, dug right in to the cake. Julia helped her open her gifts. The 1st year really flew by. I had a bit of a hard time adjusting to having two but I think now that Darby is getting older and doing SO much it is getting easier. Some days easier than others. 4 days later Miss Julia turned 4! I took them to Reuben

H. Fleet Science Center in Balboa Park to have fun there. Julia LOVES that place! We had cake and ice cream that day too. On that weekend we did there party at Shelter Island. Since the girls birthdays are only 4 days apart it looks as though we will continue celebrating them together at least for the next little while. Lots of Family and Friends were able to make it. It was a great day. Darby's 1st year flew by so fast. Julia started preschool in September. I love my girls!

April 2010 Darby's 8th month

6 Months old

Wow!! Darby is 6 months old! How in the world has half a year already flown by? Darby is such a an amazing spirit! I am so proud to be her Mom!! She just yesterday, started to like baby food. She finally decided she was ready. I was over the moon excited! I had tried many times before and it just finally clicked. She loves to roll around and is so interested in everything that Big Sister has and is doing. Julia loves to make her laugh. It is really fun to get her giggling. She has started to sit up and can do it for a 30 seconds or so with out being propped up but will with no notice fling herself backwards so you have to be right there and prepared. Life is really interesting with two but I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my Girls!!! Here are some pictures of the last 6 months. It is truly amazing how fast they change.

My Baby is 5 months old

Arrgh!!! I just can't seem to update this thing as much as I would like to. I have good intentions I really do! So lets see what I can remember...Darby got her ears pierced this weekend when we went to the dome to visit with Luke's Family. It was great! We always have so much fun with them! Julia got to play with her cousins and open up a few Christmas gifts since we were with my Family for Christmas this year. We do an every other year thing so no Family gets left out. It works! So back to Christmas. Christmas was GREAT!!! MY WHOLE Family was able to come to California. We figured that it hadn't happened since the early 90's. Now we are all married and have kids so it was even more special. My Dad got to meet Darby for the 1st time. That was so special! My Sister's and Brothers too. We had Family pictures taken and they came out great!! Julia got spoiled this Christmas seemed to be a "Princess" Christmas. She LOVES the Princesses right now. Her favorite is Cinderella. We watch it ALOT! =) Darby is growing so fast she is such a sweet baby. She loves to sleep! Her favorite toy right now is the jumper. She can really get going in that thing. It is so cute! Her smile is contagious! I just love her so much! She had rice cereal on Christmas for the 1st time. Didn't hate it but didn't love it either. I tried it again yesterday but I made it with formula and I payed for that one a couple hours later. I knew I should have just taken the time to pump milk but I guess I was hoping she would take formula, just for cereal. Oh well, we wont do that again! She is 15 lbs and almost maxing out her 9M clothes. Julia got a "big girl" bike from Nana and Papa for Christmas and we took it to the park this morning to try it out. She did great!!! It is of course a "Princess" bike. We did almost have a HUGE mishap though. She was riding the bike on the path around the baseball field and I was walking with Darby in the Baby Bjorn. I however forgot that there is a pretty decent slope at the far end of the field and I got busy messing with something and she got ahead of me and took the hill alone...faster and faster..I couldn't catch her...I was running and Darby was bouncing all over the place. I caught up to her just as it was leveling out. It was scary I thought for sure she was going down but she totally rode it out. Not a shining "Mom" moment but it worked out! The problem is that she doesn't get how to use the brakes. Yeah I know, that is pretty important stuff to teach before we attempt that again. Oh yeah and I got a new digital camera yesterday! I love it!!! Well that is it for now, hopefully it wont be another 3 months before I post again =)


Johnson Family

Julia loves her "Big Girl" bike

Sisters Forever

Darby got her ears pierced

Darby can move!

I have been so terrible about keeping this thing updated! I am always posting on Facebook so this thing gets left in the dust but I wanted to get on here this morning and jot down that Darby can officially move. At 2 months and 2 wks old she can wiggle herself around, and even get on her side. I thought she did in on Friday, I knew I laid her in her gym and then I looked and she had moved or been moved to the side of it so I asked Luke and he said he didn't see, so I figured I was trippin. Maybe I laid her to the side? Then when it happened again yesterday I knew. She had twisted herself to the side and all around and this morning at the 4:30 nursing session she was completely sideways in her pack and play. So needless to say the days of leaving her on the couch and walking away are no more. =) This growing up stuff is happening at lightning speed for both girls. Last night before bed Julia and I had a great time singing together listing to country music videos on You Tube. I can't believe how many of the words she knows! It's so fun and something I hope to always remember.
Video of Darby wiggling!

I'm 30!!

Holy Crap! Well yesterday was my Birthday. I have now joined Luke in the 30's club! We went to Mojave to visit Luke's Family for the weekend and had an AWESOME time! We love getting away and spending time with everyone is always a good time. Julia had so much fun, she even got to ride Shelbee's horse named Posidon. She really liked that, for a few minutes anyways! LOL! Luke took me on a ride on our Friend AJ's Harley. It was the 1st time that I was on the back of a bike in 3 1/2 years. Having kids tends to change your priorities a bit not to mention your ability to just get on and go. But I have to say I really enjoyed it! It wasn't a long ride but it felt good. That was Darby's 1st time to the dome and her 1st long road trip, 3 1/2 hrs. She did great! We didn't get home until late last night but it was well worth it. Thanks everyone for making turning 30 so special for me! I love you guys!!








My 7yr old Niece Amelia made me this card! I love it!!!

1 month old

It has been WAY too long since I have been on here to update. Darby is 1 month old now and had her 1 month check up. She is 11 lbs and 22 3/4 in. That means that in one month she grew an inch. WOW! She is still so peaceful, she doesn't cry very much and usually only wakes me up to eat once during the night then goes right back to bed. She has started smiling and today while I was nursing her she let out a small giggle, now it could have been gas but it was for sure a giggle. =) On her actual one month birthday I was in the ER for Mastitis. If you have ever had Mastitis you know how painful it is. Luke stayed home with both girls while I went by myself. There were some real whack jobs in the waiting room, but I tried to stay positive. After all, people watching is one of my favorite past times. =) Luke did really well at home by himself. I was able to nurse and pump some milk before I left and was back in only 3 hrs with a prescription in hand. So not so bad! You never know how long it will be and especially on Labor Day weekend. That night after I got home I felt like crap, my fever spiked up to 105 because the antibiotics hadn't kicked in yet. It seriously felt like a semi truck hit me! But I am SO happy to report that all is well now. Thank God for antibiotics!! Hopefully I wont get it again. I had it 2 times during the 17 months that I nursed Julia.

Darby Grace

Well she finally made it!!! YAY!!! At 41 wks. via induction we welcomed our sweet Darby Grace! She was born on August 6th at 11:13pm weighing a whopping 8lbs 15 oz. 21 3/4 in. She has the sweetest and most calm personality. She only seems to cry when she is hungry or needs a new diaper. She is all ready sleeping for hours on end in fact I have to wake her up in the night to feed. Boy am I lucky! Julia was the same way when she was a baby so I wasn't sure if Darby would be the same or completely opposite. Speaking of Big Sister Julia, she is doing great with Darby. I do have to keep reminding her to "be soft" when she is giving hugs and kisses but other than that things are going as well as can be expected. The recovery has been really smooth this time around and boy am I thankful. My Mom has been here helping and visiting since the 5th but unfortunately has to go home on Sunday =( Darby is already a week old and has changed so much. What an amazing adventure! Life is good! =) Julia also turned 3 this last week! My little girl is growing up so fast I can't believe it! The Girls are 4 days shy of being exactly 3 years apart. We had a small family party for Julia on Sunday and she had such a great time!

Still waiting...

Yay she's here!

Julia meeting Darby for the 1st time

4 days old

1 week old

Our Family of Four =)

Birthday Girl Julia

Julia enjoying the ice cream cone that was as big as she is

Proud Big Sister! Julia on her birthday and Darby 4 days old!

She will soon be in our arms....

Well I went to the Dr. yesterday morning and he said Thursday is the day if not before naturally! Yay!! As much as I don't want to be induced it is nice to know that there is a specific day. Julia was 9lb. 1oz. and born 2 wks past my due date so we definatley don't want that to repete or gosh could you imagine an even bigger baby? I sure don't want to!!! =) They do say that your babies just get bigger the more you have. But needless to say by Friday she will be here and in our arms and we just can't wait to meet her!!!

Well I am Still Pregnant......

Well as of today I am 3 days past my due date! My Mother In Law came down and Tuesday and we have been walking everyday since. Miles and miles and more miles. Most of our walking is down at the beach and Julia has now decided that she is "not afraid" of the water anymore! It probably doesn't hurt that it is SO warm, at least 72. Having Nana here with us has been great! She is the best MIL one could ask for! =) We are going to my Dr. Appt in the morning and I can't tell you how much I was hoping not to make it to this Appt but oh well here we go. Hopefully he will at least say that there is change happening. After all Julia will be turning 3 in just 8 days and I really don't want there birthdays within days of each other. Oh well I guess little Darby Grace will come when she is good and ready or if they need to induce me at a week past due date,which would be on the 6th. I was induced with Julia at 13 days past due and she was born on the 14th day. I was really hoping to go on my own so I guess we will just wait and see. Hopefully...there is still time =) Well here are a few pictures of us having fun at the beach these past few days.